A rough day

Do you ever have one of those days? I'm in one. There are several things going on and with everything, I feel like I just can't win.

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First of all, I know I shouldn't obsess about my weight, but I do. I lost the weight and I am NOT going back to being fat. It's just not happening. That being said, I had a really bad afternoon yesterday--eating wise. I was craving chocolate and I've found that if I don't give in to my cravings in some form, then I go overboard at some point. So anyway, I made a little bit of chocolate sauce (cocoa powder and agave nectar) and dipped a banana it in. (ok so far) I had just a little bit of sauce left over so I dipped some crackers in it to finish off the chocolate. (still ok cuz I only had a few crackers.

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Then, I went back to work and thought I was doing ok until it hit me--I finished off daughter's leftover french fries in the fridge, the rest of the ice cream in the freezer (only about 1/2 cup left, thank goodness) and a rice crispy treat. I felt just gross--the fries weren't very good; the ice cream was was real and it tends to give me a stomach ache; and rice crispy treats are made with marshmallow which is made with gelatin from animal bones which makes me nauseous. And the worst part is that I kept eating even though I felt sick.

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I wonder if it had to do with my cycle (a friend once suggested it might and I don't have my TOM thanks to the Mirena IUD but I probably still do cycle). I do know that that kind of out of control eating is what got me fat in the first place.

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After I got through that, I did better. Veggie Delight (mixed sauteed veggies and tofu w/ steamed rice) at a restaurant for dinner (I was feeling bad and didn't want to cook) and an apple for bedtime snack.

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I really need to get a handle on this. I hate that I get in these eating binges and can't seem to stop myself.

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Second, I was going through son's agenda book last night and see an assignment on which he really didn't get a very good grade. He had missed only one point on the rest of it, but then hadn't even done a whole section (it was a research paper). I ask him what's going on and get that he didn't know it was part of the paper because he was gone when it was assigned--he's been sick, he has been out for ortho appointments, and he leaves the classroom for GT.

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So I e-mailed his teacher. After getting his teacher's response, I think it's a bit of both of their faults. Son needs to take the initiative and ASK what he missed when he gets back, not just assume that nothing was missed. Teacher needs to make sure son is understanding all parts of the assignment.

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I don't want my son to get any special attention, but he does have aspergers and all too often, he gets to focusing on one thing to the exclusion of all else. I think the teacher should have son paraphrase or even write things back to be sure he got everything.

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I just hate my son not doing well because of not getting all of the information. And don't get me wrong--I am more proud of a C that was worked for than I am of an A that was handed out. I try to let my kids know that I expect them to do the best they can. And if they have done their best, I'm on top of the world.

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I had to go in and talk to one teacher regarding reading. Son was reading all the time--catalogs, encyclopedias, non-fiction books. He was supposed to be taking AR tests on fiction books for a grade. I told his teacher that as long as he was reading, I was happy. That I didn't think reading should be turned into a chore by forcing it--I think forced reading as children is why a lot of adults dislike reading now. I told her that since I knew he was reading and knew that he could read, I would support him even if he got a bad reading grade. He ended up getting enough points to get a good grade, that's not the point.

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I guess I'm just saying that as long as my kids are doing their best and trying and learning, I will back them up 100% no matter what.

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Third, some issues with work. Don't really want to go into them.

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Anyway, everything has me feeling really low today.

I've had coffee and oatmeal to eat so far. I have left over stir-fried veggies that I plan on having for lunch; probably with a sandwich. I'll have fruit for a snack. I'll figure out something good for dinner. And I'll drink lots of water. For right now, I'm going to get back to work and put on some music, and try to be positive.

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Wish me luck.

Ciao for now.